no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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