The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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