i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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