the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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