I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
