I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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