Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I love having hate sex.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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