You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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