..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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