Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
