You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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