McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
