Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
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My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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