Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
