We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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