Michael Bay diarrhea
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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