Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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