Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
