where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
