ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize