You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
we should paint friendship bongs
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