he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
