Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
