i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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