You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
