Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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