I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
