Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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