She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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