Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
