that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
