I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
