I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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