Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
