Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
