Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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