You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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