Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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