My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
