i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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