Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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