big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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