I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
