a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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