I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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