How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
