I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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