Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
