I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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