call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
