so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
