Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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