I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
