Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
