More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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