so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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