their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
