Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
