White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize