I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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