Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
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Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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