your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
